Disclaimer

The contents of this website are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the U.S. government or the Peace Corps.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

One Day at Western

Washington inside a fist. Hubcaps. Snowmen. Piano music at 1 am. Iron Chef friends. Text messages from lovers. Family Guy. Nachos with extra sour cream. Suckerpunching/pile driving. Mario Party, $5 on Ebay. Tennis, both Mario version and murder raquet. Studying for the skipped class. Moral duties against math. Two coats, three sweatshirts, a water bottle, Sylvia Plath, washcloth, hairbrush, textbook, coffee mug, 2 throw blankets, slippers, and a pair of earrings (somewhere) all to be removed from the bed before bed. $30 women's gloves that only fit a man's hands. Strep throat. Larrabee State Park drawn with an imaginary pen. Layers on layers on layers. Movie nights that never happen. Lights across the street. More snow. Snow balls that don't miss. Sandals in the slush. Bounding deer. Black coffee dregs and dehydration. Snood tournaments. Big plans for next quarter!

Sunday, November 27, 2005

He's Snoring Again. Awwww.

Hi. Ben? Are you listening? Thank you! I took your advice, and sure, it's going to be hard. But it'll be worth it.

Monday, November 21, 2005

nothing will ever be as good as being a girl. a pms'ing girl, no less. yes, yes, i knew it was a bad sign when i spent 2 hours of good, hard work at the gym, then came home, made a playlist of sappy songs, and settled down to eat half the (chocolate) cake i baked last night.

Breathe deep the gathering gloom
Watchlights fade from every room
Bedsitter people look back and lament
Another days useless energies spent
Empassioned lovers wrestle as one
Lonely man cries for love and has none
New mother picks up and settles her son
Senior citizens wish they were young
Cold hearted orb that rules the night
Removes the colors from our sight
Red is gray and yellow white
But we decide which is right
And which is an illusion

Sunday, November 20, 2005

james is pretty in eyeliner

last night, loves, made up for over a week of disappointments. a large crew of boys from long beach came up to get faded at michael kimbrough's. what can be said? they have strange back-woods rules for king's cup, but that's okay. james was showing off his emo flag. nick and i controlled the couch with our slouching. elaina and scott didn't speak most of the night, from what i saw. matt bonney called me his teddy bear, and we hugged many many times. elaina had to tell him to stop crowding her cousin. ryan told work stories, joey inspired a mcdonald's run. whitey and i talked loudly and belligerently about donating plasma. we all sat down for a nap around 5 am, and i walked the half mile or so home around 6. my day started at 2:30, 4 hours after my mom called and asked about my thanksgiving plans.

and do you know? the day since has been lovely! nick and i are both really excited - we made friends with someone on our floor! we ate dinner in the backroom of fairhaven, and had ice cream sundaes on plates. jessica joined us and we baked a cake (it's MY chicken!) and played irresponsible games of bombchu bowling. and loves, please. don't forget the laugh track for family guy. some kid i've never seen before walking into our dorm and watched for 3 minutes or so, then walked away with a "everyone on the floor is watching this. thanks for letting me join!"

Friday, November 18, 2005

Celebrity Minds

As frustrating and emotionally harrowing my Criminal Justice class is, I'm going to miss it when it's gone. I'm going to miss Inverarity, with his uncontrollable gray hair that wobbles over his head as he stutters his way through a lecture. The way he throws in such random, ridiculous comments as "Ignore Louisiana, it's a southern state." and "If you have cancer, you're going to die. That's not interesting." His absolute nonchalance about whether you come to class or not, yet demands perfection from those who have never sat through a lecture.

But most of all, I'm going to miss the study nights before exams. The 1 am trips to IHOP for three pots of coffee that is guaranteed to make me sick the next day. Last night was a conglomeration of spanish, logic, literature, and criminal justice. Conversation topics ranged from the current conditions of jails, Offspring, the relationship between math and logic, Dora the Explorer, relatives with quirks, drinking, and conjugating verbs in portuguese. Those nights, I learn more in one sitting than I do for the next three weeks.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Ten Pages in One Hour

I have 100 pages from my Social Organization of Criminal Justice textbook to read tonight. I am very very mad about this. However, I am also taking notes and writing the study guide stuff down too, so maybe I can only plow through 2 chapters and call it good? I mean, really, it's how much I learn, not quantity of the workload accomplished.

And on top of that! I have no food in my dorm that doesn't make me sick. And the dining hall food isn't much of an improvement, unless I'm famished after working out. I am so hungry! And only cereal will suffice! So instead I drink water. Lots and lots and lots and lots of water. Sometimes I make it flavored water with my Lipton's raspberry iced tea mix, but then sometimes that makes me sick too. You know what I really wish I had? Purple Gatorade mix. I saw it once, at the Met. Yumm.

Monday, November 14, 2005

I'm Levitating!

Heute war eine grosse día en mi cuarto. Meine compañero di cuarto und ich moved all our stuff around, und jetzt it looks organized and cleaned and lived in. We even have bailar space in the middle of our room. Unfortunately, I can't get too excited about it. This week is another hell week! Sociology test Friday, and spanish test tomorrow. Not to mention registration coming up! I'm getting my math teacher's opinion on which professors to look into. Hurrah!
Este tarde, Sharon and I ate lunch together. We spent an hour gabbing about boys and school and life in general, and how much college is different from what we expected. It was lovely, and it gives me hope that I won't die of loneliness when Jessica leaves me at the end of this quarter.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

move to italy - top of the list!

i haven't seen my suitemates since thursday morning. and even that's questionable. i'm not sure if i actually saw them thursday morning or wednesday morning.
Now, as many of you may have heard (basically anyone who's talked to me at all since Thursday), I donated plasma while fighting off a cold. I know, not one of the brightest decisions I've ever made. But sometimes I get these urges to take reckless chances that will probably end up hurting me in the end. Usually they involve jumping off of something, donating plasma while sick, or not eating for three days straight. They don't really serve any purpose, just a way for me to get out of a rut. This experiment left me sleeping by 5 pm, off and on all night. The only time I spent awake, well, I wrote about that last time. When I saw Frans. The wine made me sick around 3 am, so I sat shivering in my bathroom emptying my body of all its contents. Which wasn't much, but it sucked pretty bad.
The natural conclusion was that Friday would be spent on the couch. When Jessica saw me huddled under all seven of my blankets, watching Life is Beautiful, she laughed. For five minutes straight. And when she was done, she sat down on the couch with me and cried over the movie.
Ahhh I'm losing interest in this post already! I need to make my bed before I can sleep in it. So now come the bare minimum details. RJ came over Friday evening, we spent the night drinking over at Matt's place. Elaina and I were pretentious snobs with a bottle of white wine (RJ would've disowned me if I didn't give wine another chance.) We watched Shaun of the Dead and stumbled back to my dorm room, and slept. Breakfast at Denny's, which was amazing, and I got to drive RJ's truck! (I miss driving so much. I'm going to Centralia over Thanksgiving, and I'm taking the Blazer to do it.) After RJ left, I camped out on my couch for the rest of the day and proceeded to watch: Emma, The Shipping News, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, The Heiress, and Under the Tuscan Sun. And yes, I was wrapped up in my seven blankets the whole time. Aw, don't worry, I wasn't completely by myself. Ryan watched 3 movies with me, and Julie watched 2. We were the cool kids.

Friday, November 11, 2005

how do you cool your lips after a summer's kiss?

Frans is easily one of my favorite people in the dorm. He's chill. Earlier this evening, I had my head pounded and compressed by the sounds of Mar and his friend trying to play the guitar. It was a major sacrifice for a simple jar of spaghetti sauce, but it had to be done! The pain of that moment will be in my memory forever - the headache, the nausea, the aweful out of tune squeals coming from a beautiful instrument.
Frans, meanwhile, introduced me to his friend Mateo this evening. He and Mateo sat and jammed on the mandolin and the same mentioned guitar -- and it was beautiful. Sitting by a forest stream while pixies play and laugh in the water wouldn't be as relaxing as these two boys tinkered with their instruments. And while Edgar Allen Poe may not seem like the perfect addition to this night, sharing his stories was oddly appropriate.
Anyway, I adore Frans. He wore my sweatshirt outside, so now it smells like love. And we watched the Big Lebowski while sipping wine. (Yes, I know, wine. Unfortunately, I'll never be a pretentious snob when it comes to alcohol -- drinking wine is like forcing myself to down a giant glass of pure vinegar.)
All this was within the last three or four hours. Pretty much my whole day was spent in a haze of dragging myself from one class to another, humorously murmuring "braiiinnns!" to myself to get over how dead I felt. There was this one glorious section in time, 45 minutes, where I napped on the big green couch in the library. I think I left a drool spot on the cushion, but that's not gross. It's just a sign of a good time.
This weekend, I have big plans. They involve movies, maybe illegal drugs, calling up Brent (see how those two coincide?), but most likely just sleep and a few good books. Natalie left for the weekend, Matt's supposed to show up one of these days (not sure what I think about that), and I feel like locking myself in the dorm and only talking to a select few people. And only one at a time.

Tuesday, November 8, 2005

We Have Arrived

Today, I learned an interesting fact. Actually, I'm not sure if it's fact or not, but if it is, then it's interesting. Matt says there's a Long Beach in every state of the US. Elaina and I don't believe him. I mean, come on -- Long Beach, South Dakota? It just doesn't compute, folks. So I pretend to be fascinated and impressed, but inwardly, I'm skeptical. Google'ing it didn't help much either. Google.com thinks there's only one Long Beach, and it's in California.

skep·ti·cism 1 : an attitude of doubt or a disposition to incredulity either in general or toward a particular object

In other news! (Tonight was a fantastically good night, considering it was a Monday. o lunes.) I froze my toes for one fantastic view: coming in from sailing, watching the mist rising off the placid lake. Yes, placid. As in NO WIND. Ahh, kinetics, how I hate putting you into use. After, Jessica and I made the trek into downtown Bellingham to the Fantasia Cafe for Poetry Night! I stuck around for an hour and a half -- fantastic poetry, amazing readers, and the community feeling of everyone there was overwhelming. The regulars heckled and laughed and put everyone into an accepting, open-minded state. I almost cried at one point, though. Here is where I tell you about my self-loathing. Before the poetry reading started, I sat nursing my peppermint mocha and observing the people. As always, I immediately spotted the grossly overweight guy. He was balding, pastey, and overflowing all corners of his chair. I see a lot of people like this at the pool (especially during water aerobics), and I've developed this terrible habit of imagining them in bathing suits. My imagination goes overboard with the folds of flesh and (trust me, it's almost universal) ugly birth marks or skin discolorations. ... Really, have I offended enough people yet? Obese people are fascinating to me, in a disgusting and degrading way. Anyway, after I mentally ostracized this guy, he got up and read a "very personal poem that's hard for [him] to share". The gist of it was how no one has ever found him attractive, how he has found intellectual partners and friends, but no one who will love him physically. And how he's wondering if he'll ever find intimacy before he dies. I felt so guilty, as if I personally was responsible for all the pain and humiliation he'd ever been through. And there was nothing I could do. I still found him repulsive. But on top of that, I felt a sharp stab of guilt because I knew, 100%, that this was a real person with real feelings who probably feels worse than I ever have on a regular basis. And I still wouldn't be able to talk to him without seeing his obesity first.

Anyway. It's 1:30 am right now, RJ called right in the middle of that post and I had so much more to say... I just can't anymore. I'm tired. I want to sleep before I get up and shower before class tomorrow (which I haven't studied for or done the homework. Yay!)

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

the first set of sailing pictures!

kingsley zissou. he even had a cap gun!

this was the whole team, all dressed up for the occasion.


friday night, sharing stories on the porch.

sunday afternoon, all decked out in sailing gear! our models are andrew, matt, and alex.

oh randy.






janna is my lovely skipper.

jake and his orange hat.


it's kramer guys! you know, from seinfeld?? yeah, yeah!!


our carpool, minus sam and jon. we are hardcore cool, man.

so the story goes like this. i go out onto the porch, and janna starts wondering who smells really really good. is it jake? hmm, no. alex? nope. turns out it was my hair. yay for awesome conditioner!
this was the cool band making their way up to vancouver, bc. the kid on the far right is wearing a real rabbit fur hat. i loved that hat passionately and wholeheartedly for the whole... minute? that i got to play with it.

those are cherl's shoes. come on. how amazing can she get?

ashley and florian!

so i have no idea who the girl in spandex is, or what she was dressed as, but she had the greatest costume by far.

ashley and cherl!

alex, andrew, and kyle.

alex is singing cher. "do you believe in love after love?"

what are we goin' to do?

last night was a bad night. ben made it not so bad. thank you, ben.